


Wyvern Deluxe

by ladydragona



Category: RWBY
Genre: Crack, Dildos Mentioned, Ficlet, M/M, Nothing explicit here, just plain sillyness, written by my partner
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-31
Updated: 2019-03-31
Packaged: 2019-12-27 02:54:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18295418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladydragona/pseuds/ladydragona
Summary: Qrow purchases a mysterious package.





	Wyvern Deluxe

**Author's Note:**

> What happens when my partner has to listen to me gush about the otp at 1am. He doesn't have an AO3, so I'm posting it for him. All I did was minor editing.

The smell of freshly brewed coffee filled the air as Ozpin stepped down the stairs half asleep. “I will never understand how you can drink that stuff, Qrow.” He walked over to the refrigerator and pulled out the milk, as the clatter of keys sounded away in the background.

  
“You just gotta handle a bitter reality in order to enjoy the benefits, Oz.” Qrow responded from the dining table. His work had been following him home lately, and as such he had woken early and was furiously typing into his scroll. “To be honest, I don’t know how you can stand all of that sweet in your life”.

  
“Well, I am with you, aren’t I?” Ozpin responded.

  
“Like I said.”

  
Ozpin stared at him for a minute as the milk began to boil in the microwave. “Let me guess, there was more movement from the breach last night? Salem is preparing to move?”

  
Qrow suddenly stiffened, sitting upright at the table. His typing had suddenly ceased. Slowly, he turned around to look at the man he had come to live with, and enjoy life with. “Well, something is on the move alright. In fact, it’ll be here any minute.” This last bit came out with a bit of nervous trepidation, as though it were to be something heinous or unparalleled in danger.

  
Ozpin sighed. If something was making Qrow nervous like this, but also kept him in their home, it was quite possibly almost as bad as –

  
The door bell rang.

  
Qrow’s face turned a shade of burgundy and he became stiff as Ozpin slowly set down his mug and walked to the door. Outside there was a brown box. A label declared it from a manufacturing plant in Atlas. He returned with the parcel and set it down next to Qrow, who turned an even deeper shade of red.

  
“Qrow… What is this?”

  
“Uh hey, look I should get going. You never know what your psycho ex is up to, and I still need to make sure my nieces are alright” Qrow stammered as he began to leave the kitchen and get dressed.

As this was happening, Ozpin opened the box and pulled out the contents. “Is this a… Really?”

  
“Look, Oz, I was just thinking… It might spice things up a bit, not that you’re not spicy enough, just uh… Think about it before you turn your nose up?” Qrow had turned around, and was almost pleading. Ozpin held up the package, a ‘Wyvern Deluxe’ from Bad Dragon’s holiday line.

  
“It’s better than being a little bird, I admit.”


End file.
